I want to be...



a writer


able to let loose


always spiritually in tune



exceptionally good at something



a good cook

someone people want to be around

the friend that's always there

pure in heart


someone worth looking up to

able to look at this list and feel like all these things are possible; like if I just take it step by step, a little bit at a time, I can be everything I want to be.

Sometimes, I'm afraid it won't ever happen. Don't mean to go all emo on you or anything, but sometimes I just get overwhelmed thinking about everything I want to do and become. And I know I should think, "Sure, I can do this, I can be that." But sometimes, I just don't. And it's because sometimes, I just don't try. I think I'm afraid of getting my hopes up only to let myself down. I hate it when that happens. It makes me so much less likely to try again.

I know - I'm whining. I have people that love me just the way I am, in spite of all the things I am not.

But don't you ever look in the mirror and wonder about all the great things you could do, if you put your mind to it?

I think I want to make some of those "coulds," "dids." That's all.