Is it too much to ask?!

I never mastered the whole "nursing in public" thing with Maddy. In fact, I never even came close to mastering it.

It's not that I'm weirded out about BFing in public. I'm totally know, as long as you're pretty much covered up and stuff. There were plenty of times when I would have loved to just be able to whip out that cover and do my thing at a family party or in the mall or wherever. But I really don't think Maddy liked being under a cover very much. She would always, always fuss. And fussing, I think, automatically sets off this thing in new moms that is like "OHMYGOSH my baby is fussing and everyone is listening and they are all totally annoyed and they probably think I'm a terrible mom and..." you know. Plus, I didn't really have a nursing friendly wardrobe, and was pretty much too cheap and lazy to hunt down and buy cute nursing tops, so I was never really able to figure out the "mechanics" of nursing in public. And trying (which I did) ended up stressing me out.

And so it was that I began pumping. I got into this really groovy routine once Maddy girl was able to sleep without being fed in the middle of the night: I'd pump a bottle (or two, when she was still little and didn't eat so much at one time) right before bed, so I wouldn't *cough*leak*cough* all over my bed, and then we'd have a bottle to take with us on our travels the next day.

It worked really well, except:

1) I didn't really like the bottles (and Dallin really didn't like them)
2) I didn't really like the pump, especially after several months of use when its performance began to go downhill.

So now, faced once again with the prospect of pumping (I do plan on trying BFing under a cover again, but hey, who knows?), I am in the market for a new pump and new bottles.

And I don't think what I want exists.

What I want in a bottle:

-not made of a zillion parts (or, you know, more than...3? 4?)-
-doesn't have to be put together in a very specific way to avoid leakage-
-probably good for colic and stuff, just in case-
-options, in terms of milk flow, size, etc.-
-no nipple confusion-

What I want in a breast pump:

-not a million dollars-
-electric (single or double, doesn't matter)-
-works well (doesn't have to move mountains or anything...I just want it to work!)-

And then comes the truly tricky part...

I want to be able to pump right into the bottles so I'm not pouring milk back and forth, washing extra containers, etc.

This system does not exist. I'm fairly certain.

You cannot find a decent pump and decent bottles that were made for each other. WHY THE HECK NOT?

Medela makes good pumps, but they are crazy expensive, and their bottles don't get great reviews.

Lansinoh makes what looks like a great pump, but they have no feeding bottles - only storage bottles.

Evenflo and Playtex make good looking bottles, but no decent pumps.

Avent is what we used before.

So tell me - does this ideal of mine exist? Am I putting too much faith in online reviews (is something actually good even though most people don't like it)? Should I just get what I want from both categories even if they don't "work" together and just suck it up with the pouring and the washing and what not?

And could switching to Geico really save us 15% or more on car insurance?

These are the things that will keep me up tonight.