My perfect lunch salad

Have you ever felt the teensiest bit of hatred for those people who can just whip up a salad for lunch? (It's okay, this is a safe place.)

What about this: have you ever wanted to be one of those people? Well, now's your chance.

Here's the thing. I thought those people must have gobs and mounds and piñatas full of free time. Like really, who has the time in the middle of the day to just stop and make a freaking salad?

Guess what? I do. Because it takes like 5 minutes. Yep, 5. That is less time than it takes to preheat my oven to cook a frozen burrito that I don't want to cook in the microwave because it tastes nasty out of the microwave. Did you hear me? It takes less time than a FROZEN BURRITO. 

And the salad isn't even gross -- it's delicious! I kind of remade it from a pre-made salad I sometimes buy from Sprouts. Here's what you need:

Lettuce (duh). I like romaine or romaine hearts. You could probably just use whatever the heck you want, but I would think that something too wilty will disappear in this salad, so get something with some structure. Um...does that make any sense? Also, unless you have a little more time to spend making your lunch, just bite the bullet and buy bagged lettuce. It's prewashed and prechopped, which makes your prep ridiculously easy.

Diced chicken. This is the secret to making your salad nice and filling. I buy these grilled chicken strips from Costco and dice them up. You could leave them in strips, but honestly, I don't love big chunks of chicken in my salad. I like small chunks. I also don't really like the word "chunks."

Diced apples. Use gala or pink lady. I'm a granny smith fan myself, but those are too tart for this salad.

Feta crumbles. Buy it at Costco for the best deal. Yum. 

Greek dressing. I took a chance on this one by Kraft and I have no complaints. If you want something fancy or organic or actually imported from Greece, I'm sure you can probably find it.

Red onion, chopped (optional). I think the red onion adds a lot to the salad, but it's one of those things that's hard to keep on hand. I like to buy this freeze dried stuff, reconstitute it, and then add it. It gives just enough of the taste and is shelf-stable! #winning

Almonds (optional). Add some crunch and healthy nut things (healthy fats? Right?) but I don't really notice if they're missing. 

So to make the salad, you...wait for it...mix it all together.

Really, what were you expecting? I'm not a food blogger, you guys. Plus, it's a salad. Like...just eyeball it. If you're extra hungry, add some more chicken. If you love the feta, go heavy on it. The one real guideline I have is to start with a small amount of the dressing and add it to your taste. 

Dear friends: THIS IS NOT HARD. You can do this. If I can do this with a baby tangled up in my legs and my mind completely fried from having Little Einsteins as the soundtrack of my life, then you can do this. 

Go forth, lunchtime salad maker. It is your destiny.